Assorted droppings
We can't help thinking that Kate's arrival at Home Farm and the commencement of her Mickey-Mouse course at Felpersham Uni will ultimately benefit her daughter's racist, boss-shagging father.
If anything was likely to send Feebz scurrying back to Racist-Mellors Tugger it has to be her birth mother's barrage of invitations to eat out/party/meet- really-cool-friends-almost
half-my-age.(Quite candidly we are reallysurprised the wee lass has managed to put up with Jennydahling for so long let alone manage to deal with the arrival of her meditating ma). Better get
that dunghill of a home sorted Racist, Feebz may be back sooner than you think!
No surprise to learn 'Edwurrd', as his father calls him, is behind with his rent and owing nearly 5 grand to various creditors. Much as we prefer him to his obnoxious sibling we have never
rated him as a level-headed businessman. OK, so he'll have to sell four of his cows and plan for a honeymoon in Darrington rather than some exotic destination south of the equator, and it looks
as if Emma's idea of walking up the aisle in her pyjamas might be a sensible one after all.
We weren't optimistic about the plans of Clarrieluv and Jailbird to make a dress anyway. They may well have been 'making clothes orl their loives', but even so, to make a
pattern from a drawing made by a (fairly inept) amateur is very,very different ball game from working from a commercially produced pattern. We had visions of Edwurrd's bride shuffling to the
altar in a creation that resembled that bag that John and Yoko spent part of their honeymoon in (younger @narchists check this reference out on Google).
Seems that, unlike the Archers, Edwurrrd will not be planning to go over to what Roooth calls 'Roahhbotic milkun' in the foreseeable future.
So where's that Tiger? He's clearly done a runner and one is left speculating as to the cause of this hasty departure. Surely it can't be the prospect of Route B? Perhaps it's
Matt's Russian wheelings and dealings catching up on him, and the Russian Mafia are hot on his heels? Worse still, it could be a posse of pensioners, tenants of some of his properties, that are
after the man's blood! Quite frankly Lillian, we couldn't give a damn!
utter the merest suggestion of a word.
Droppings on J. Elliot's offer
What a lucky couple Dearvid and Roooth are to have Justin Elliot make such a generous offer for what we all know to be a failing farm.
We have high hopes that they will accept and hasten their exodus from Ambridge, and we look forward to Elliot taking up residence in the Brookfailed farmhouse, having a helipad constructed,
installing a huge array of solar panels and an equally large wind farm before converting a large part of the land to a service area to serve travelers using the new road.
We must say that Pip's voice transplant entirely meets with our approval; it is so much better than the old whinging, mardy-madam one she previously had. They clearly have a
better class of voice transplant clinic oop north where Pip has been and we hope she will recommend it to other inhabitants of Ambridge whose accents set our teeth on edge.
Shame on Staring, uncaring Alan, who hasn't appeared to offer comfort to Pat and family after Otto did a tap dance on Tony. Neither did he come to visit Peggoi after she turned her
ankle on church ground; no doubt he's spending all his time riding his motorbike and/or his horny Hindu missus. It's time the powers that be gave Alan his marching orders.
Feebz should return to Ambridge where she could easily fill important post of village bicycle. With her parentage and family background she must surely be genetically predisposed to
fill this role..
Best wishes,
Graham and Imogen
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