ITíS TIME TO STOP SLAPPING ARTHUR
With great regret we have removed the option of
slapping Arthur in our popular online survey.
Although 8% of visitors to this site have cited him
as the person they would most like to slap, there is
something mildly distasteful in slapping the
departed. Never mind, Joyce is still fair game and a
deserving candidate given her carping and whingeing.
Itís good news that Edweird is thinking of taking
up sheep shearing, a skilled profession for which he
has had no aptitude whatsoever. We are just not sure
how he is going to find time to fit it in between
his dentistry, quantity surveying and aeronautical
2 DIMENSIONAL ROB ARRIVES AT BLOSSOM HILL
We are pleased to welcome the vaguely sinister
Rob to the village. He clearly fancies himself as
Mega Dairy Manager and with a bit of luck he will
soon be at loggerheads with the sulky Saddam. His
absent wife has obviously been turned into cattle
cake and fed to a million or so cows in a similar
Do we want to congratulate Vicky? No we donít.
She has bored us rigid about it for months and we
had to listen to all the gory birth process which is
pretty dull once you have heard a load of previous
Ambridge sprogs being born.
The Romeo and Juliet tale of Fagash Lil and the
ghastly Paul Tiger appears to have come to an end
and initial signs indicate that she has pretty much
got over it within a day. There will be the odd
relapses but at least we hope to avoid the
excrutiating phone calls and clandestine meetings.
Matt deserves happiness but it would have been nice
to see him pulp the ghastly and greasy Paul.
ONCE A BADGER MURDERERÖ.
Dearveed is at it again. The notorious badger
murderer was only prevented from putting a bullet
through another of the defenceless stripy creatures
by the quick thinking of Lindybottom. Cant someone
put US out of our misery by shooting Dearveed?
AND THE NEWSLETTER?
Yes itís not far away. Didnít quite make it
before the end of the year but it is imminent. Have
Ambridge Exposed Ė a book of @narchic poems
from Barbara Williams
If you are looking for presents for the
people who have everything (and assuming they have
mugs and t shirts available from this site) can we
commend to you this new book from @narchist Barbara
Williams. Copies are available from Lulu.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/4876284 at just
Take the latest @rchers @narchists surveys
Everyone wants to slap at least one Ambridge
resident. You can vote every 30 mins for the most