@rchers @narchists have been dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century and you can now join or renew your membership of @@ at the click of a mouse. Newsletter No 35 is now available to paid-up anarchists.

OLD WHATSISNAME RETURNED TO PARLIAMENT?

The General Election almost passed Ambridge by but we did hear the occasional noncommittal reference to it.  We know that Jim’s candidate won and we can only hope that was Old Whatsisname who has served the constituency in a superbly non-intrusive way for many years.  We hope that the shock of a hung Parliament does not mean the poor chap dies of shock and causes a by-election.

SINISTER PAUL TIGER TO GET A KICKING

While the great Tiger Crawford has been doing bird because of some technicality, a sinister interloper with the same voice as Own King has turned up, edging his way in to Fagash Lil’s knickers.  It’s not surprising that Matt has never wanted to meet him as he is not even a relative, Tiger being adopted.  And this simpering specimen is not fit to lick Matt’s boots.  We hope Pathetic Paul will soon be feeling the business end of those boots at an early opportunity.

LET’S HAMMER HARRY

Another newcomer who needs to have his tealeaves read to him pretty quickly is Upstart Harry, the unlikely milkman.  That Fallen would prefer him to the entertaining and charming Jazzer is simply baffling.

PEGGOI AND TED GET IT TOGETHER

Peggoi did not take long to hook up with Ted.  She is already being wined and dined by him with poor old Jeck not yet having succumbed to his armchair.  Bad news for Tony when he finds that Peggoi has left all her wonga to Ted who in turn passes it all straight to his own dysfunctional (we hope) children.

WIENER SCHNITZEL ANYONE?

This popular Austrian dish is going to become the standard fare for anyone unlucky enough to visit the Tuggers for the foreseeable future.  No one with any sense is showing the slightest interest despite Mrs Tugger’s hard sell and even Toonice Ian is likely to think twice when she plonks a dead calf on his doorstep.

BUSTY BRENDA HEADING FOR DISASTER

Due to her having a completely worthless degree, even the Ambridge Job Fairy had to admit defeat in the case of Busty Brenda.  She has now landed a job in “PR” which presumably means she is having to stand next to various third rate products in a state of semi undress.  There are so many ways that this can go wrong that we invite you to choose one on the Survey Page.

Ambridge Exposed – a book of @narchic poems from Barbara Williams

If you are looking for presents for the people who have everything (and assuming they have mugs and t shirts available from this site) can we commend to you this new book from @narchist Barbara Williams. Copies are available from Lulu.com http://www.lulu.com/content/4876284 at just £5.99

Take the latest @rchers @narchists surveys  Everyone wants to slap at least one Ambridge resident. You can vote every 30 mins for the most deserving denizen