Latif seems to have acquired cricketer and sex pest Ifty's voice, but at least he has woken up to the folly of entrusting his large stable of horses to the half-arsed
veterinary operation run by Phallustair. Having killed someone's horse in a routine operation, he should stick to hamsters, gerbils and maybe the odd stick insect.
Hey nonne no is back
Nice to see the return of one of Kate's attitudinal and truculent offspring. Hardly surprising she is eschewing the ridiculous epithet of Nolly and encouraging
to see her effect on FreddynLilly.
Darrington do it again
Congratulations to the spirited and entertaining Darrington Cricket Team who took Ambridge’s Dad’s (and Mum’s) army of cricketers to the cleaners as usual. It
was a particularly nice touch when they took over the Ploughman’s for an evening to celebrate in advance.
Lexi’s predictable return
We hope the other applicants for the Gay Gables job will kick up a stink that the interviewing panel consisted of Toonice and Lexi's lover and that Toonice had
already decided who he wanted before the interviews started.
Angry Posh old men calm down
It is a relief that we can enjoy a period of peace after two of the village’s posh old men seem to have relaxed a bit. Recently we had Foxbrush hurling vases
around the place while Justin was planning to murder Tiger Crawford. But the thousand or so fragments of vase were quickly reassembled by semi-redundant tractor driver Edweird Grundy and Justin
is daft enough to believe that Tiger wont get one over on him after all.
Blackmail victim flees to Minneapolis
The lawlessness of Ambridge and the ability of Archers to close ranks knows no bounds. Rob Titchener was a victim of the most unpleasant blackmail from Stefan
and his crime was simply that he demonstrated loyalty to his employers to prevent them being washed away. And ultimately it was at minimum cost to man and beast - one stray dog and
Has Foghorn caved in?
We rarely have any time for Foghorn but were thoroughly enjoying her Fairbrother phobia and it is with great disappointment that, like most feuds in the village, this
one appears to have ended. Can we dare hope it is only on hold as a temporary ceasefire? When Toby turns up with his Junkie girlfriend, perhaps normal hostilities will resume.
Bed and breakfast
It is hardly surprising that the Grungies are such a bunch of wasters. Just because Fat Paul's cousin was prepared to put up with a ferret-ridden house and
breakfast provided by the Ecoli queen is hardly grounds to go into the b&b business.
Mr Hodge denied customer choice
Mr Hodge seems to be getting a raw deal from the local vet. Even in the state-run NHS a patient is allowed to request to see a different doctor in the
practice. Yet as a customer of a private business, he is denied the right to choose who looks after his animals.
Crusty Kirsty can return to core business
It is just as well that Crusty is not going to be a single parent after all, as she needs all her spare time for gossiping and interfering. She could go into
further education at the Jailbird Academy of Rumour.
Boring Racist Roy fails again
Quite a double bluff played by Racist Roy on poor old Tracy recently. The most boring bloke in the village pretends to be the most boring bloke in the
village. Tracy can do a lot better for herself.
The Archers are real – there is no cast
Please note that this cat is not in any way meant to represent the late Sammy The Cat but is here because of his good choice of reading material.
The views on this website are not necessarily the views of Archers Anarchists nor of anyone else.